That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
