Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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