I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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