The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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