omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
