This is not my ceiling
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize