there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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