The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
