On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
