So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
