I puked a lego.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize