dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
