I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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