And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
