I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
