Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
