so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
