so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
