What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
