I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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