Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
