I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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