If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize