finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
