We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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