2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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