It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
As shirtless as possible
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
