you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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