No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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