K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
a search helicopter?!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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