I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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