happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
