You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
barbara walters just said penis...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
