Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize