sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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