kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
