i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
