I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
