So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
