He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
