i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
