Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
