She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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