hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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