Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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