im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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