A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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