Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
