I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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