careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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