the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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