The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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