i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
