so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish you could order shots online.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
