I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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