How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
