Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I've blown a few things in my day
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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