Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
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So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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