i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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