Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Randomize
